Norm’s New Home–Part 2

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Miss London doesn’t mess around once the papers are filled out. She knows that old kids are hard to get rid of, so if a family wants one she sends the kid out to them ASAP. That’s why, two days later, Miss London was handing me a small duffle and giving me a quick hug.

“You be good for them.” She said. That wish to be going home with Miss London washed over me again. It didn’t matter how many kids she sent to new homes. She would always say “You be good for them.” and there would always be tears in her eyes. I felt like I was being sent away from the only mom I really had. I watched her all the way to the gates of The Center…there may have been tears in my eyes, too.

The ride took three hours. I started off just staring into the distance in the back of the metallic sky-blue minivan. Nick was driving and talking about their boys and their house. I could tell this guy was tough. He was solidly built, though not really big. His arm muscles flexed at every tweak of the wheel, but he was also very friendly. Always giving me a smile in the mirror and checking to see if I was all right.

Sarah was friendly, too. She was also a bit rowdier than Nick. When I asked to put on the radio (something we did not get to hear much of at The Center), she turned it on and switched it from country music to some screeching Rock music earning a quick frown from Nick. She frowned right back and then looked at me and winked. It made me laugh…partially because she wouldn’t back down from Nick, but it was also a nervous laugh because their frowns made me nervous.

After Sarah sang along with a few songs she turned the music down and gave me a sideways smile. That smile made me think of when I played tricks on my friends. It was a smile that said lets have some fun…but keep a look out for trouble. She showed me a few pictures of her art from her phone and showed me their house (which they had lived in since Nick Jr. was born). All through the ride Nick and Sarah talked about their life. They really wanted me to know about them. They probably thought this would help me relax, but I really began to feel like I didn’t belong.

As we finally pulled up to the house it was starting to get dark. I stared out at the house, my stomach quivering with dread. It wasn’t a bad looking house. The rough white stucco walls reached up two stories. That combined with the dark brown trim and the slanted dark tiled roof made the place look homey. There was a soft yellow light coming from the windows with shadows playfully moving from room to room. As I watched the shadows, I felt even more alone. This was not my family, I was an intruder coming into their home and trying to carve out a place for myself.

The Ramseys stood outside the van, Nick waving at me to follow them, his neatly combed dusty blonde hair framed an angular face that topped his tall, blade-thin frame. He stood straight with all the authority of a lieutenant police detective but I could tell his slight smile was meant to comfort me. I unbuckled the seatbelt and pulled the door open with a dull KTHUNK and stepped out onto the smooth concrete sidewalk. Grabbing my dark blue duffle bag that Miss London had given me, I hefted the weight of all that I owned onto my back: three pair of blue jeans, two t-shirts (one red and one navy blue), A nice white long-sleeved button-up shirt, three pair of socks and three pair of underwear (all provided by The Center). It did not make a very heavy load but I trudged up the stepping-stones toward the house as if I was carrying a mountain on my back.

It was like stepping into a dream. The twilight sounds of birds happily chirping mixed with the excited buzz of a variety of insects filled the air. A dog barking a few houses over as well a couple of girls riding their skateboards down the street, and the bicycles laying casually in Nick and Sarah’s driveway made the neighborhood seem welcoming. I walked up those stepping-stones amidst the neatly trimmed grass artistically decorated with red and yellow flowers and finely cut bushes waiting for the dream to end.

“Come on, let’s go in.” Sarah smiled at me with her quirky sideways smile that only lifted one side of her mouth and laid her hand on my back guiding me toward the large oak front door to the house. Her slight frame almost shook with excited energy as she opened the door and invited me in.

All movement in the house suddenly stopped. Then a loud thundering rush of fast footsteps and shouts rose from upstairs and made their way downstairs crashing together in a heaping tangle of young arms, legs and bodies of two boys at the bottom of the stairs. They quickly stood up, the older boy swatting the younger on the head in a “look where you’re going!” sort of smack. I had to laugh a little just watching it.

The boys were a perfect balance of Nick and Sarah. They had light brown hair, a nice mixture of Sarah’s long dark brown curly hair and Nick’s dusty blond. Their smooth thin, light-skinned faces both held Nick’s deep blue eyes, but Sarah’s dainty nose with that slight curve at the end. And, like Nick and Sarah, both boys had a thin, but solid build on them and a ready smile spread on their faces.

“Junior, Phillip, this is Norm. Norm, the older one here is Nicholas Jr and the younger one is Phillip.” Sarah said.

“I’m nine. Junior’s eleven. We don’t go to the same school anymore cause he’s goin’ to Junior High next year. So I’m gonna have the school to myself, –well and the other kids– but I don’t have to wait for him after school anymore, I can walk home by myself. I’ll be ten before we go back. How old are you?” Phillip began, but he was quickly interrupted by his older brother.

“Phillip! Geez! Give the guy a break, he just got here.” Junior said pushing his younger brother a little. He turned to me and said “Sorry, he can be annoying. Welcome to our house.”

“Thanks.” I said with a small smile. The smile slid away, though, as I confirmed my suspicions.

The house was not completely clean but it was not dirty either. It was…lived in. Games and toys were strewn about the dark laminate wood flooring of the front room. Two light tan well-used couches were pulled together toward a coffee table in the middle of the room. The set-up spoke of hours of games and family time spent together. The cushions were firmly indented by those hours and light stains created a pattern across the couches. Two cans of soda and two plates with remnants of dinner were still on the coffee table. The walls were covered with photos of Nick, Sarah, Junior and Phillip in various places. Nick and Sarah’s wedding, Baby pictures of both boys, birthday parties at the park, riding bikes, coaching the boys at baseball, Nick and Sarah at the lake and in the mountains. A family. They were a unit and I didn’t fit. I was an invader and sooner or later they would figure that out.

Then what? What would they do with me? Would they get rid of me like an unwanted dog? Would they try to trade me back? Or would they put up with me until I grew old enough to get out of their house?

We walked through the house, Sarah and Nick and the boys showing me different things, but I barely heard any of it. Tears threatened and I had to fight them because weakness is not something you show; you hide that and keep it locked away. If they kicked me out I would survive and move on. Maybe I would move on before they had the chance.

We made our way up the stairs with a quick look at Nick and Sarah’s room, and each of the boys’ rooms and came to the end of the hall.

“And this is your room.” Nick said

My room. I don’t even have a memory of having a space to myself. Ever. There have always been others to share with, large rooms with multiple beds, or small rooms where a few of us shared beds, but never my room. I looked around at a couple posters of baseball players and a fishing rod hanging on the wall. There was a large bed sitting against the light blue wall with a dark brown headboard and bookshelves on the sides. The brown laminate floors had a navy blue carpet with a large NY written in the middle. There was a large dark wooden dresser that matched the floors and the bed with a baseball sitting on top and a desk (the same color) over toward the window.

“We helped decorate!” Phillip almost shouted. “We love the Yankees so I picked the rug, and the baseball is Junior’s but we have lots of them if you want your own. And we just got the dresser and bed today.”

Nick picked up Phillip and patted his back and turned to me with a smile.

“We hope you’ll like it here.” He said

Maybe I will…Maybe I do fit here. All I could do was smile.